Rejection

In todays society we see new people almost everyday. We see new friend suggestions on our social media sites. We drive by people on our way to work /school and yet out of those I don’t know 10 people we see we don’t stop and say, “Hello”. We simply just move on with our day to day routine. Now let me ask you, why is that? Why are we hesitate to welcome new people into our life? I am going to take a wild guess and say fear of rejection. Maybe not for all but for most of us including myself, I am constantly in question of meeting new people because I am afraid of getting brushed to the side. One of my many flaws I’m unable to conquer.. so I thought… Two weeks ago I finished a book called Uninvited, living loved when you feel less than, left out and lonely within one week! Many of you aren’t aware but I’ve never been fond of reading. (Sorry mom I pretty much lied on all my reading logs growing up.) These days the most reading I do is scrolling down my social media feed or insurance breakdowns when I am working. So for me to pick up this book and finish it in less than 5 days is definitely a job well done and huge pat on the back. In light of that information I wanted to share with y’all what I learned about feeling rejected. My story starts way back when I was a little girl. I was my mom and dads first little one. Their relationship don’t work out shortly after I was born so they separated. My mother got married and had another little one and my father met someone else and had three little ones. Growing up I stayed mostly with my mother but occasionally I would go and spend the weekend with my father. The huge difference between each parents was the way each one made me feel. With my mother I always felt at home, like being with her is were I belonged. With my father I felt like I had to compete for his time and with everything else in his life. Being a child raised to compete I quickly learned rejection. By the time I was 14 I told my mother how left out by his lack of love and connection for me. Thats when I first understood rejection. Its been some time since I last spoke to my father but the feeling has never really gone away. As I read Uninvited I came to realize a few things;

1. I’ve dwelled on this feeling of rejection for over 9 years and it has only affected my potential to create new relationships.

2. I am continuing to think rejection is my fault and it’s not.

3. That with Jesus, I’m forever safe. I’m forever accepted. I’m forever held. Completely loved and always invited in.

Not only did this book help me understand my past rejections it has helped me pull through this current rejection. Lysa states “The voices of condemnation, shame, and rejection can come at you, but they don’t have to reside in you.” She couldn’t be more right. Just because someone has their own opinion about you doesn’t make it the truth. Just because someone doesn’t like you doesn’t mean the next person won’t want to become best friends with you. We don’t need to let the rejection consume our thoughts because then it will ultimately control us. And at that point the devil wins. But we all know the truth.. “The lord is our shepherd, we lack nothing. He makes us lie down in green pastures, he leads us beside quiet waters, he refreshes our soul. He guides us along the right path for his names’ sake. Even though we walk through the darker valley we will fear no evil, for he is with us.” We can always change our bad habits and next time you start to feel rejected think about how much God loves you and how when we put our faith in him nothing can defeat us.

Good Intentions

The church my boys and I attended had a sermon series a few months ago about Killing Giants Before They Kill You. Within the series I found one that hit really close to home. It was the giant of good intentions. Now, I will be the first to admit when I try to do something positive it comes out negative. I will also be the first to admit when I feel in my heart I am right about a situation I will not hesitate to back down. We all have good intentions, some intentions fail while other exceed our highest expectation. Yet we still continue to live our life like we are benefiting from helping others. As in “I thought that was a good idea too (insert good intentions here)”. So when I heard the sermon The Giant of Good Intentions for the first time I immediately thought oh my stars Pastor Tim is talking directly to me. Of course there were like 100 more people in the room but I felt like that Sunday God was showing me the steps I need to take. Giving myself not only insight about my direction but the guidance I need to over come this giant. Here we are a few months later and as I was cleaning out my car I found the notes I took that very day. Reading;

  • Don’t assume good intentions make you untouchable
  • When it comes to obedience, sweat the small stuff
  • GET CAUGHT UP IN GOD’S BIGGER STORY

Apparently I needed a little reminder of the sermon these days because I am in sticky situation right now. I have gone above and beyond for someone for a couple of years and so far my intentions have only backfired. People move on and they try to see the positive in every situation..right? NOPE! Not when it comes to my problem, seeing it has only gotten worse. Rereading my notes as well as going back and listening to the Paster talk about good intentions only lead me to reevaluate the out come of the last few “good intentions” I had. Well here goes nothing…

  1. I participated in being smithboy#1 soccer coach with my husbands ex and at the time I thought hey this would be great co-parenting for us! (feeling untouchable)
  2. I put in all the effort when the others didn’t and I was still receiving the short end of the stick. (not sweating the small stuff)

Lastly I was so caught up in the direction I wanted to go yet I wasn’t fully thinking of Gods intentions, and his story for me. How in life everything happens for a reason, and its all based on God plan for us. We might at times don’t see it or even want to acknowledge it but the plan is there. The Lord is there waiting for us. To help us pick up the missing pieces of our life. After all he doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but to have faith in him. Because without faith were would we be?

When is enough… enough? 

As the days turn into months and months into years people evolve. Some change and better themselves with positivity and acceptance while others fall in a trap of deep selfishness and insecurities. Recently my husband and I went to a class at the church we’ve attended for quite sometime now. The class was called next steps. We knew going to praise God on Sundays, listening to the pastors message and applying it to our everyday life’s was something we enjoyed doing together. So what can we do next to get closer to God and to get spiritually closer to one another? HCBC had the answer.. Next Steps! Like I said before we attended the class and came out with a clearer understanding of what it meant to be apart of Gods world and what it means to fully accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. The lady who was instructing the class drew a line on a white board and this is what it looked like;

You                                                                The Lord

She said you are on the left and you think you are on a journey to be on the right but you’re wrong. We attempt different things in our life to become more like him. God is understanding, loving, forgiving, compassionate, selfless. We as humans are loving and understanding but also angry, despiteful, and manipulative. The lord does not carry those attributes. We think by volunteering, pay for someones starbucks, coming to church every Sunday, and praying to him we are going to more like him. Well y’all are wrong. You need not to please God or to be like him. He created you to be YOU. Therefore we need not to go trough life with the plans we have created for ourselves but we need to enjoy his plan, his path. We all at one point tried to be someone we aren’t. Tried to impress, tried to one up one another, tried to point the finger and blame someone else for our flaws. But when is enough, enough? When are we going to stop trying to be what social media wants us to be? When are going to stop listening or worrying about what others think about us? When are we going to look in the mirror and be completely content with who is looking back? Today was a difficult day for me. Theses past couple of weeks I was pretending to be a person who someone wanted me to be. Entertaining others wants and needs before mine. I was going backwards in my journey, & today was the day the walls of pretending, lies and insecurities came crumbling down. I felt hurt but also relieved. I said to myself enough is enough. I will no longer let this persons negativity get to me. I will no longer take steps back on my path. I will no longer be a person SHE wants me to be. I will be the person HE created me to be. Enough was enough. At this moment I ask you.. when you look at yourself in the mirror are you who he created you to be or what society wants you to be. Is enough.. enough?