Stop & Breathe

For about 5 months now my life has been an endless rollercoaster. I understand life, in general, is a rollercoaster but it should more like the Superman at Six Flags, not the Scream. If you haven’t traveled to Six Flags Theme Park and rode those two rides let me explain. The Superman brings you up high, down low, all around, upside down, left to right, down and back up again. On the other hand, Scream does the complete opposite. It brings you up high and straight back down with small up and down motions in-between. Since you can kinda understand the rides you can see why I would rather be on a different ride than the Scream. As a consequence of living my life on the scream, my physical and mental emotions have been all over the place. Trying to cope and understand the up and down motions within the last few months really took a toll on me. I was in a mindset to be on the go constantly without taking care of my mind and body. It wasn’t until my smithboys made me stop and breathe in the fresh air a week ago did I understand my life needed to slow down. I picked up smithboy#1 and as we were passing Pflugerville Lake we saw people kiteboarding. Normally we would drive by and watch for a second but both boys seemed really interested. At that point, I decided to drive up to the parking lot, and walk the boys to the pier.

aydensmith

The wind was strong and it was chilly but it felt so relaxing. To not have a care in the world about my next move, or think about anything else was comforting. It was something I haven’t done in quite a while. We stood there watching everyone enjoy the sun, wind, and water. Smithboy#1 was in amazement how high they got and how they were able to do flips in the air. He couldn’t wait to tell daddysmith. Smithboy#2 kept saying “wow” and “cool mommy”. I was explaining to the boys how the guys weren’t cold, what wetsuit was, and how the wind and kite were able to carry them around the water. We watched for about 5 minutes just taking everything in.

mamasmith

As we all three stood there I thought to myself, I wish I could go back, start over, change a few steps and tell myself to stop and breathe throughout the last few months. Since I do not have magical powers to do so (shh, don’t tell my boys that) I found that I can only correct my mistake and try to not let it happen again. The boys were getting cold and the wind was getting stronger so we decided to head home. While walking to the car, I couldn’t help but look back and really take in the scenery. How beautiful the day was, how happy my boys were, and how today I was able to freeze time even just for a second. The entire way home I thought how tremendous it felt to savor that exact moment with my boys. Although they were unaware of what I learned on the pier that day it will later be a lesson I can teach them. & as a mother, there is no greater feeling than to do just that. So the next time life gets ahead of you..stop, take a deep breath and start over.